My big break

This post will be largely photos. That is because the event described herein is more fun to see than it to read about. I will tell you that I was an extra in a drama that will air on Japanese national television next year. It was unfavorably hot and I was in a wool coat with a top hat but despite the heat, I had a lot of fun standing on a pier looking at an imaginary British ship that the Japanese were buying in order to augment their navy against impending Russia. 

Oh, darling, isn't imperialism grand? Oh, why yes it is!

It is unbecoming of a gentleman to mingle with such scrubby children. Too bad! Haruka is bright and we are now pen pals. 

You can see the green screen ship in the back ground. 

I bet you can't find the J

Okay tadpoles, I'm only going to be in this country for two and a half more months so I want you all to know I have wonderfully mixed feelings about coming home. I am excited about some things and sad about others, mainly not being able to eat sweet bean paste anymore. It's true that I haven't been blogging very much and the reasons for that are very simple. 

First off, it takes a lot of time to write a post and time is something I have little of. Second, my posts are usually filled with lots of fluff, like a bag of potato chips. I decided to trim this post down to more solid content. Also, I'm leaving out the frills of colorful imagery because I just worked on a tax return and the digital hand of the demon zapped itself into my heart and brain stem and stole rainbows from me. In other words, I'm sick of looking at numbers and words that try to convert my employment time at Tipu's Tiger into money that is ALWAYS less than you think it should be. 

But before I dry out and leave you with only a goopy shell of a human, I want to at least show you some pictures. The last one is the reason for the title and also the reason why I have no faith in the Japanese education system.

Asuka-chan thought she found tadpoles. They were worms. 

Just standing on that thing, there, lookin' cool. 

The best thing about this picture is that you have to look at it sideways. You needed the neck stretch anyways.

If you really can't find the J, give up. It won't make you better at speaking English.

shux

So I was looking over the requirements to become a NASA astronaut and they weren't as stringent as I thought at first but they do require a lot of flying time. I mean, the science degree I could theoretically do, just go through school again. But the flying time is what really gets me. I don't really like airplanes. Gosh, I wonder why they make it so tough to just float around on the end of a cord in outer space. 

I'm only going to be in Japan for about three more months. I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT. 

I'm in a haiku class

I am a baffoon

I fill my mind with worries

why am I so stressed?

that bird is a jerk

I will hire a mean robot

to go and shoot it

we speak of nature

as though it can be named so,

tell me what it is

knowledge in the wind

humming in the sunbeams too

a little in books

where do they get ammo?

Ka-boom! I run into Yukari by chance. Ratta-tatta-tatta! I sit through my oil painting class trying to imagine how it would sound in English. Eeeeeeeeeeeerrr-Pow! I see my professor coming down the hallway to assault my ears with more Japanese I don`t know. ZAP ZAP ZAP!!! The meaning of the post on the message board is completely lost on me. 

I swear, they invent more of this language every day. They do it so that I can never learn the whole thing. Then they curse me with interest in this culture so that I commit a year of my college education to learning within it. That's the period where I only absorb 20% of what's taught.  

Yeah, I know

Well, I looked into it and the Zelda movie was a blasted April Fools joke. I feel like the raunchiest horse`s ass. Pretty bummed. Oh well, more things to compose in the ol` imagination station. 

Recently, I made the mistake of saying, "Where is my favorite tampon?" instead of saying, "Where are my favorite shorts?" A mistake which, in Japanese, is very easy for me to make. It reminded me of the time when I said in Spanish to Sra. Jansen, "I`m going to go home now and douche myself" instead of, "I`m going to go home and take a shower". Oh how the comical and embarrassing errors abound in the life of the linguist. Whoa, that has panache, doesn`t it? Linguist. Maybe a little pretentious, though. 

Goodbye humans, and I do hope your hygiene is in proper order as I assure you, mine is.  

I was quivering while I watched the trailer

The Legend of Zelda is being made into a movie.

We can only hope.